First Day of Preschool.

We have been talking about school for weeks in an attempt to prepare you for your first day of Preschool. You were so excited about meeting your teacher, making new friends, playing new games. I would always explain that Mommy and Daddy wouldn't stay with you at school but I knew the true reality of that was not sinking in. We went to the preschool orientation last Thursday so that you could meet your teacher and see your classroom. You loved it. You and Daddy made an art project together, which you hung on the wall beaming with pride. The trouble is, we have never left you with a 'stranger' and even though we have done countless playdates, classes, groups, one of us was always with you. Everyone said that you would surprise us, 'he will do great, it's always the kid whose parents are the most worried that do the best.' Let's just say you didn't surprise us, you reacted exactly the way I thought and it was harder than I ever expected.
We met Brian at the school and we all walked in together. Sullivan looked so cute and he was so excited to be there. They have the kids line up in front of their teacher's name and then they come out and get them for class. We were a bit early and I could tell Sullivan was starting to get anxious. By the time we started walking Sullivan was glued to me and I was really trying to act as though everything was fine. Sela, of course, took the hand of another student's Grandma and joined the class in their line :) We found his name and hung up his backpack in his cubby and Brian took him to the bathroom. When Mrs. B asked all of the students to find a purple dot for their seat, the tears started. 'Please come with me Mommy, I don't want you to leave, I just want you to stay and play with the toys with me.' I explained that I couldn't stay but I was sure they were all going to play with the toys after they sat down on the dots with Mrs. B and I would be back in just a little bit to get him. His little chin was quivering and I could see the panic in his sweet little face. He sat down on a purple dot and picked up another one and said, 'Here is a dot for you, please stay with me.' He turned to look at Mrs. B and I walked out of the room. I thought my heart might break in two as I walked through the doorway.
I spoke to Mrs. B that evening to find out how things went. Once she found out it was his first experience being in a class setting with no parent she commended him for how truly well he did. She said he was sad, it was clear that he was very nervous and unsure about what was happening and what was going to happen next. She began explaining her observation of Sullivan's personality, 'He is a very bright little boy, he is very sure of what he wants, how he wants it and how he thinks things should be.' (good Lord, she got that one right!). She viewed this as a wonderful character trait and that she is glad she now knows this about him. She said he recovered quickly from my departure and things were going well until it was time to come in from recess and she didn't give them a warning which she normally always does. She said he panicked, he froze. He began to cry and said he was going to wait for his Mom outside until she got there. Obviously not being an option she explained the situation and ultimately had to carry him inside. Once inside he would not join the group and he refused to eat snack. Being the amazingly talented teacher and person that she appears to be, Mrs. B walked over and asked if he needed a hug. Yes. They hugged, he joined the group, ate snack and apparently rocked some puzzles because Mrs. B noted his exceptional puzzle skills and said we should definitely get him some more for home. I felt sad, proud, vulnerable and above all protective. I know that he needs this experience, I know it will get better and I know that we will all grow. I am so thankful for his amazing teacher and the partnership we are growing. Mrs. B ended by saying, 'He really did very well for his first time and my goodness you have a very sweet little boy.'
When sela and I picked you up you looked a little tired but you were all smiles and you told me that you read a dinosaur book, ate a snack of applies, crackers and water and it was so fun. You said you loved Mrs. B. We are so proud of you Bubba; you're going to do great.